FUCK THIS BULLSHIT

Blog = nuked

Later!

LOCK UP YOUR CHILDREN

YOU'RE NOT READY FOR THIS YO

Imagine a world where Muslims and Christians and Koreans all live together. They go shopping hand in hand at Tescos, and write each other love-letters all day about love. BAM. YOU CAN'T. NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN.

There's a reason Muslims and Christians and Koreans magnetically repel each other - (SCIENCE FACT NOT SCIENCE FICTION) - its because they're all different. And that's good! Just like the Roal Variety Performance last year was all about a certain all-star dance crew from the shanty-town of Croydon, in the darkest nether-regions of the groin of London, so too is the world all about diversity.

Usher - also from Croydon

Now try and imagine a nightmarish world where these people were sandwiched together (metaphorically), day-and-night having to listen to each other go on and on about their kids or their dogs or what Jesus is up to or how Japan sucks. NIGHTMARISH.

No need to imagine it! ITS ALREADY HAPPENED
BUT WITH FOOD

F'd
Up
Bull s

I started a new band with a ginger guy and a man with a neck beard. We are amazing. Reynolds (bassist and all round show-stopper) brought some cupcakes to our last practice (see photo-realistic diagram above). I was greedily cramming them into my gaping maw when he told me they were CHOCOLATE AND PEANUT BUTTER CUPCAKES!!!!!!!!111111111111111
I flipped the flip out. They were d-e-l-i-c-i-o-u-s - but they went against everything I stand for - segregated foodstuffs/people/books on shelves

Here is the 411 guys

We've just got to accept that stuff gets put together with other stuff these days. This new stuff is called "combined stuff" or "COMBISTUFF" or "CMSFF" sometimes, although not very often.

I forget what I was talking about and I don't want to have to scroll back and up and read what I just wrote so here's a recipe (sp???):

Peanut-butter cupcakes as prepared by su-chef kelly brook/b
take one cupcake
make sure its made of peanut butter
cover it in chocolate icing
make sure the icing and the cupcake are delicious
serve with a cherry glaze and a compet of raspberries and dragon fruit, decorated with champagne foam

Usher: "this blog is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s"

GUEST REVIEW; DAMON "M.C. CARTNEY" MCCARTNEY

YO
HERE'S SOME FLAVA IN YOUR EAR/MOUTH FROM MC "DAMO" DAMON MCCARTNEY
WORD
WORD
WORD
WORD





I dont like the Skippy stuff Mark likes. When I lived with him he used to leave the empy jars in the cupboard, I dont know why he did this, the bin was next to the cupboard. Like RIGHT next to it. Anyway I dont like smooth peanut better.

I bought this whilst shopping with Mark. I made some bread for it, a multigrain loaf (700g). I used a tried and tested method. No experimental breads for this review. The peanut butter looked good. Spread well. Nice and crunchy, for me though it was a bit too salty. 7/10

That is all I have to say, for you people out there thinking "bet the saltiness was your bread" I say FUCK YOU.

Thanks to Mark for letting me review this.

Cheers
D

FRESH
FRESH
FRESH
FRESH

YOU'RE THE BEST....AROUND! NODOBYSGONNAEVERBRINGYOUDOWN

Gonna put this one out there guys....................
2000-2009 WAS AMAZING!!!!!

All the best stuff happened!! Some examples for y'all$:

• This blog
• Terrorism got stopped by america
• Finally got some closure on Star Wars

Yeah!! AMAZINNNGGGGGGGG
So here's my favourite records of the DECADE!!!

N.B: these are definitely not the best records that came out - everybody has their favourites!! I don't want to make anyone feel bad y'all$ D:

10. Grails - The Burden Of Hope

As y'all$ all know, the 21st-century was the century of post-rock. And still is. The "21" actually stands for the number of FX pedal$ post-rock band$ usually have. This rekkid has, I think, two pedals used throughout - one is a reverb pedal and the other one is...uh...the Grails tone-zone master blaster pedal. Safe.

9. ...And You Will Know Us By The Trail Of Dead - Source Tags & Codes

Yeah, sure, its not Madonna, the aging pop-slag, or "Madonna" - trail of dead$ amazing second album, but its real good yeah? There are no pedals used on this album apart from at the end of songs where ALL THE PEDALS are used

8. Fugazi - The Argument

"Off kilter", "riffs", "angular" - all of these things have something in common. They are all words. This is a really good record!

7. Do Make Say Think - & Yet & Yet

I love this record because it reminds me of my friend who had a power shower, with which he gave himself a colonic by pointing it up his bumhole for 20 minutes. When he turned it off his bath was flooded with brown, soupy water.

6. Sharks Keep Moving - S/T

Minus The Bear but less people have heard it so its cooler, get me

5. Thrice - The Illusion Of Safety

Really really want to be the asian guy in this band who's always playing all the sweet riffs. Asian people are amazing at everything, except writing heart-felt, teen-angst existential lyrics. Which is why they have a white guy with a beard to do all the singing.

4. Curl Up & Die - But The Past Ain't Through With Us

So amazingly depressing. Technically an EP but just so so bleak couldn't not put it in there. The guitar tone on this rekkid is the epitomy of the peanut-butter $ound pioneered by this band in the first place. REKOGNIZE.

3. mewithoutYou - Catch For Us The Foxes

Met this relly kute girl while listening to this record. Would've been number one if she'd gone down on me.

2. Modern Life Is War - Witness

SO WHAT THE FUUUUCCKCCCKKKK
ARE YOU GONNA DO KID?!?
STILL RATTLIN' THE CHAINS OF THE GATESOFTHEWORRRRLD
saaaaafe

1. Bear VS Shark - Terrorhawk

Oh, what? You haven't even heard of this? That's because you're a massive dick.

I Don't Feel Right

Tesco Whole Earth/Americano Peanut Buttero/ASDA Peanut & Cashew Butter

YO YO YO DUDES!!!
Got a bodacious post for ya this week! Not one but 3!!!! peanut butters up for review!!1 THAT'S A SPICEY MEATBALL!!1

But first, the bad news - my doctor friend Ed has told me that maths scientists has found a disturbing condition related to my favourite past-time - it is THE FEAR OF EATING PEANUT BUTTER!!!1 Thanks maths!
Ed has promised me he'll get rid of this condition also using maths - thanks Ed!!






PICTURE NOT FOUND

YEAH!!! gonna jazz it up for you guys this time!! Instead of just reviewing these THREE peanut butters I've made a quiz, and you have to guess what sort of peanut butter you'd be - tubular!!1

Question the First:
1. Where do you live?
a) America/Eastern European hovel
b) On a farm
c) On a cashew plantation

Secondth Question:
2. What is your average annual income?
a) Several groates
b) Loadsa fahkin' money
c) N/A

Question being the Third of the questions:
3. What is your main export?
a) Children/after-birth/stem cells
b) Cocaine/family law advice/houses
c) Cashews

Question of the Fourth variety of questionings:
4. What do you feel like to the touch?
a) sticky & poor
b) velvety smooth with a dusty coating of refined belgian sugar
c) nut-esque

ANSWERS:

If you answered mostly A you are - LIDL (pronunced l-ee-del) Americano Peanut Buttero
If you answered mostly B you are - Tesco Whole Earth Organic Peanut Butter
If you answered mostly C you are - ASDA peanut AND cashew peanut butter (all lower case)

GREAT STUFF!!!!
Here is a record by a band called TOE. Thanks!!!1

Media Suppository (sp???)

NEWSFLASH: STUPID ANIMALS LIKE THINGS THAT ARE FOOD (AND THAT ARE ALSO PEANUT BUTTER)
courtesy of Damon

NEWSFLASH: MAN ENJOYS PEANUT BUTTER (TOO MUCH)
courtesy of Jack

NEWSFLASH: PEANUT BUTTER IS IN THIS SEASON (MUSICALLY) - WATCH OUT COOL PEOPLE!
courtesy of Shiri

FRIEND COLLAGE!!!










NEXT WEEK:

Guest reviewer! (possibly Alex if he reads this)