From a Concerned Reader

I recently received an electronic letter from one of my readers, who was quite clearly "disturbed" by the contents of my latest post. After a time of upheaval for me and the peanut butter world, I would like to address this electronic letter writer and, indeed, the entire peanut butter reader/reviewer community:

Dear XXXX

I understand your concern - I've taken a lot of flak for my musings vis a vis 'the nutty butty': my hard-line policy on sunpat, my favouring of smooth over crunchy, my use of un-credited pictures of asian people - all these things have drawn staunch defenders with vocal disapproval of my opinions.

As for "deciding" whether I like it or not, this has not been a choice. Rather, it has been a time of turbulence in my mouth and in the part of my brain related to my mouth. The recent revelation I was privy to regarding Philadelphia cream-cheese shook my world to its core/its foundations/the core of its foundations. For a boy - nay, a man - raised on 'pbutter', the nut-based spread is part of my DNA. I can reject it only as much as I can eject my arm from its socket without apparently touching/yanking it out with my other arm.

It is with much gravitas and appropriate ceremony that I state that I WILL NOT ABANDON MY FAVOURITE NON MEAT BASED SANDWICH SPREAD - you have my word.

Sincerely
The person who is writing this blog and doing what-not

Normal peanut-butter reviewing services will resume FORTHWITH


(REACH FOR YOUR DREAMS)

From Your Author

Don't know where to turn stop
Can't decide whether I like peanut butter anymore stop
Have starting spreading philadelphia cream cheese on everything stop
Existential crisis stop
Will consult with doctor stop

[converted from original email in the style of a telegram]