Tuesday 11 August 2009

A PERSONAL POST

Yesterday, I came the closest I have ever been to pooing myself. I don't want to ruin the surprise but I did get to a toilet in time. Just. In memorium, I have composed a poem:

Syrupy brown friend Poking from my bottom Please go back inside It's not safe outside And I don't want to have to clean the doorstep Maybe I shouldn't eat so much bran Porcelain champion White and now flecked with poo You are my best friend I love you toilet But I still love pooing Such is life Was it all A Dream ????

I've been on holiday! I love holidays! But I love home too!
While I was on holiday I got my mum to get me some foreign peanut butter (pénút búttúré) - I got back a few days ago but my poo poem reminded me about peanut butter!



Calvé Pindakaas - El Peanut Buttere
Phwoar! That's a spicy meatball!

One thing you may not know and will be happy to find out is that peanut butter is the same everywhere around the world! No matter where you go or who you buy from, peanut butter is still made from peanuts (and some butter)! Calvé Pindakaas was pretty good stuff! I had it on Spanish bread though, so maybe I was enjoying the bread and not the peanut butter? What if that's the same with all the peanut butter I eat? Maybe I just like bread and not peanut butter.
Ow.
That hurts my head.

Taste: Quatro/Sinco
Texture: Tres/Sinco
Cost: Tres/Sinco

Here is a record by Torche! What a great band! They are "just wow" as my mum would say! This is their first record!! Good job for getting it right first time dudes! SLAMMIN!! It is sludge with a positive message - STAY POSI!!

Bye!!


Sunday 2 August 2009

GUEST REVIEW: Simon Thomas of Blue Peter Fame



Review

Growing up, I was never a fan of peanut butter. I found the chunky, sticky texture far too much for my delicate, refined palette. I recently ventured to the United States where peanut butter is ubiquitous and I steadily grew to tolerate it. So here is my review of peanut butter, for those of you who have not yet embraced it.


Use:

Peanut butter is really good in sandwiches. I highly recommend trying this. Also, combined with ‘J’ (i.e. PB+J) it is nice. I have heard that peanut butter can be used in other savoury and indeed sweet contexts but I advise avoiding them because on my part, these are unchartered waters.


Taste:

The taste of peanut butter is not dissimilar to that of peanuts only more smooth and paste like. I would recommend peanut butter to those without teeth or perhaps those who like both thick drinks and peanuts. Peanut butter is a suitable combination of both.

I only had peanut butter within the context of PB+J. It was very nice but seeing as I have never eaten peanut butter on its own I am going to assume that it is horrible so I recommend everyone avoiding it.


Texture:

Peanut butter, as outlined above is thick and sticky. If your personality matches both of these attributes, you’re sure to love peanut butter. It is essentially, for thick, sticky people. As I have abstained from the paste for 24 years, I do not fall in this category. I only ate smooth peanut butter so I would suggest that everyone go for smooth as chunky is probably disgusting.


Variables:

Peanut butter can come in many different guises. The first guise I came across was thinner, fruit flavoured peanut butter (JAM). This is nice and I recommend it. I also stumbled across white and cold peanut butter (ICE CREAM) this is also nice but often not suitable within the PB+J sandwich context.

Peanut butter in summary:


Taste: 3/5

Texture: 4/5

Cost: 5 dollars.